Gay Target Nutcrackers find true love
T’was a dark and stormy night in the Target warehouse. It had been months since June, and all but one little gay nutcracker had found a forever home. Tears streamed down the face of the little gay nutcracker. Was he unlovable? Was he destined to be alone? Was this all a cruel joke from a heartless creator? The little gay nutcracker sat alone on the cold, barren warehouse rack – until he wasn’t. One day a Target worker entered carrying a box of Christmas nutcrackers. The worker placed the box of Christmas nutcrackers on a shelf across from the little gay nutcracker. As the weeks, went by the box of nutcrackers slowly dwindled, until only one sad nutcracker remained at the bottom of the barren box. Christmas came and went, and no one claimed the lonely nutcracker. In early January, a Target worker moved the sole nutcracker next to the little gay nutcracker, to make room for Valentine’s inventory. The little gay nutcracker did not notice this new acquaintance at first, as he had fully dissociated into the void. Until, one day, he felt a smooth wooden arm brush across his back. “Hey” a kind voice said. The little gay nutcracker turned his head towards the sound, in front of him was the man of his dreams. Tall, blond, and drop-dead gorgeous. The little gay nutcracker began to blush: perhaps a higher power had heard his wishes. “My name’s Friedrich,” mustered the little gay nutcracker. “That’s a pretty name,” replied the other nutcracker. “I’m Ludwig.” Friedrich and Ludwig spent every second with each other. When the warehouse closed for the night, they would ride the Barbie cars through the floor and talk the entire night. They had pillow fights in the home decor aisle, movie nights in the tech display. Friedrich tried to fight back his feelings for Ludwig but he couldn’t deny his heart pounding in his chest. Everytime he looked into Ludwig’s eyes, he saw forever. Finally, Friedrich could no longer take it. While Ludwig was asleep, Friedrich snuck into the LEGO aisle and grabbed the largest flower set he could find. He worked the entire night to build a beautiful bouquet of roses for Ludwig. At the end of the night, he snuck back onto the shelf with Ludwig and carefully hid the flowers behind a box of candy canes. When Ludwig woke up, Friedrich knew what he had to do. He grabbed the flowers, got down on one knee and asked “Ludwig, will you be my boyfriend?” “YES!” Ludwig said, pulling his own set of flowers out from behind him. “I was just going to ask you that.” The two nutcrackers hugged and kissed. They had each other, and that was all they needed.