Grandma's Secret Recipes, Volume 167
Sweet Surprise Chili 2 lbs ground beef 1 lb venison, fresh 2 cans red tomatoes (none of those damn other colors) 1 can sweet corn kernels 1 pack bacon 1 carton steel nails (add rust for flavor) ½ carton milk 2 tbsp garlic salt 2 tbsp lard
Melt lard in bottom of crock pot. Mix beef and venison with salt, add to bottom of pot, brown. Add remaining ingredients, stir to mix. Attach lid with slip wedged in, hide string near handle, bring to pressure, carry to table with rest of family. Drop to floor while pulling string attached to slip.
Surprise!
Eggnog 1 Eggnoggolon 1 Steel Bucket
Pacify your eggnoggolon, place the bucket underneath, and milk away! Fresh eggnog for the whole family!
Leftovers Punch 2 cups turkey gravy 1 cup cranberry sauce 1 cup eggnog 2 tbsp maple syrup 1 sweet potato mashed, or 1 cup mashed potatoes 1 cup green beans 1 bowlful old casserole 5 shots Jack Daniels 1 can Monster Energy 8 bags Lipton Tea
Mix first four ingredients in large bowl. Combine potato(es), beans, and casserole in fine-mesh sieve; squeeze juice into large bowl. Take 1 Jack shot; combine remaining four with Monster and tea in separate bowl. Let steep for 5 minutes, discard tea, pour into large bowl. Strain and refrigerate.
Makes enough drink for two weeks of tolerating your old fart husband, your wimpy underperforming nephew, or your lazy screen-addicted grandkids.
Gingerbread Delight
1 recipe Gingerbread
Prepare and eat all on your own. Give yourself a little delight.