Unlike The Tartan, which operates on the ideas that journalism should be "fair" and "unbiased", readme is the only campus news source that includes fun quips interesting comments, and other eccentricities.
Find me a single example of the Tartan using the word "eccentricites". You can't. We're simply better.
Considering how much we here at Carnegie Mellon dislike sports, atheltics, and the general existence of nonacademic endeavours, readme stays true to the original vision of Carnegie Mellon by ignoring any and all sports news. The Tartan, instead, has a bozo coediting the section.
While the Tartan has to strugle for advertisements and soliciations, we're one of the hottest advertising commodities on the market. Sure, companies willing to buy space with us are usually shady, but hey, it keeps the lights on and lets me pay for tuition, so it works.
Technically. Well, technically, KGB holds events, and we advertise them. That's because we're cool. And you want to be cool right? Who even reads newspapers anymore.
I barely passed the fourth grade.
You tell me how many crimes the Tartan helps you commit. None at all. Buncha nerds. Bet they're fuckin' narcs too.
Unlike the Tartan, which bends to the whims of the talking ghost of Andrew Carnegie, readme only answers to God, the KGB, and whoever is currently funding us.
The Tartan has been publishing for a hundred years. Really? How much fucking stuff has happened on campus since 1924? Not enough for a newspaper. readme, on the other hand, stops once we run out of ideas. Like right now. Think I had more of these? Ha.
