SASC or SEX? New Coaching Workshop Draws Controversy
The Student Academic Success Center's new seminal seminar is under fire after students label it as "gross." The new seminar, designed specifically for finals week, outlines how students can best dress themselves to improve grade performance. "Dress for success!" said Dr. Lacey Skivvies, head of this new initiative. Dr. Skivvies hopes this new program will boost grades by as much as 69%, and contribute to "a more revealing understanding of academic success."
The workshop includes hands on demonstrations for how best to flirt with much older professors, as well as some wardrobe pieces provided free of charge from randomly selected School of Art students. At the end of the workshop, pamphlets were handed out that included instructions on the best arousal strategies for 122 TAs, with some of the top strategies being: avoiding segfaults in your code, mentioning how good Rust's ownership system is at every available opportunity, and wearing anything that exposes more than an inch of skin.
Opponents to this workshop argue that the curriculum centers too heavily around the male gaze, with one student saying "wearing tight cropped shirts works for some professors, but we need a greater representation of what female professors find attractive." Some have taken to solving this issue by wearing clothing that bears the face of a more attractive person, although SASC has not endorsed that technique.
One student who has taken the workshop and implemented the strategies called it "really helpful" and "the only things keeping my QPA up."