Meat
📍 DH 1117
Intern
Interning, As Long as we keeP him here
HE/him
Bio
Ian Turner, known typically by his nickname "Meat", is ReAdMe's loyal intern, who does anything we ask him to do, at any hour of any day. Hired during a brief writer's strike, Meat has since integrated very well with the rest of the since-revived staff and become a well-loved and highly valued member of our community. When he isn't writing articles, editing articles, photoshopping images, running our finances, or getting Celsius for our staff, Meat loves going camping in uncharted forests in order to find inspiration for our Cryptid Corner section!
Fun Fact
Meat is totally, definitely, completely not trapped on readmE staff and can go wherever he pleases at any time!
Previous Work
I'm going to punch you (John Lennon)
Out walking I’ve got a shovel And a crow bar And a copy of Catcher in the Rye And my fists I am going Going to punch you
Like a priest I move with holy purpose Towards an asshole Unlike the priest Not in a sexual way Though I have seen your Semi-erect penis
Pigeons cover your grave And I shouldn’t be surprised As I am in Central Park Beady eyed freaks remind me of you My fist
...
(New) Intern's Report
We have intern, Ian “Meat” Turner, here by his own free will to write an article for us. Right, Meat? intern’s note- understood
strike Has rEadme in a chokehoLd. writers comPlain about lack of financial coMpEnsation.
iT appears tHat rEadme, the reallY cool newspaper, wHo hAVE becoMe loved bY our carnegie mellon FAMILY, Has fallen under rOugh timeS due To An onGoing strikE...
