Vol 2, Issue 0: the issue in which we initiate the freshmen to our storied traditions

Vol 2, Issue 0: the issue in which we initiate the freshmen to our storied traditions

Tags: Science and Technology

5-Minute Crafts: ECE!

Aug. 28, 2024, 4:28 p.m.
By: Dr. Et Al. | Vol 2, Issue 0

Ah, 18-100 introduction to Electrical & Computer Engineering, truly a quintessential class in the Carnegie Mellon undergraduate experience. Students get to build various fun labs every week, such as building 3 bit adders, a radio, and even programming their own machine learning classification system! To be able to complete such endeavors, each student is given a Lab Kit containing various e...

Tags: Crime Report

O-Week Crime Report

Aug. 28, 2024, 4:27 p.m.
By: Abe James | Vol 2, Issue 0

Hello freshmen, welcome to the best years of your life! And to everyone else, we are so glad you didn’t drop out or quit. While you all were busy, we at readme were also busy, sniffing out crime on campus. Really getting into the dirt for this one. Interested? Read this to catch up on all the terrible horrible things that have happened to our beloved CMU while you all were away.

**WEB OF...

Tags: Real News

Carnegie Mellon Updates Enrollment Contract, Since Nobody Reads Those Things Anyway: Here are Some of the Details

Aug. 28, 2024, 4:26 p.m.
By: Tali Kirschenbaum | Vol 2, Issue 0

In an email sent directly to students’ spam folders, Carnegie Mellon University has announced changes to the contract signed by all students upon enrollment. “Because no one is going to read this,” Provost Jim Garrett writes in the email, “we are proud to announce that we have made some of the biggest changes to this contract in Carnegie Mellon history. Read them (or don’t) here.” Below is a no...

Tags: Auntie Readme

Auntie Readme’s: Answering REAL Questions Asked By REAL Freshmen

Aug. 28, 2024, 4:25 p.m.
By: Cindy Gao | Vol 2, Issue 0

Welcome, freshmen, to the most prestigious institution this side of the Monongahela River! (And this side of the Allegheny as well, and the other side of Forbes, and the other other side of Schenley, and, well, you get the point.) Some of you are probably (understandably!) nervous about going to the school that spawned the monstrosity known as the Duolingo owl, has an inscription on one of its ...

Tags: Letter from the Editor

A Letter from the Editor

Aug. 28, 2024, 4:23 p.m.
By: Eshaan Joshi | Vol 2, Issue 0

As the premier and only newspaper on campus, readme is honored to welcome each and every single one of you to Carnegie Mellon University, four years of your life you couldn't have anywhere else. Unless, of course, you buy the all inclusive package for 20% more plus shipping, in which case you can enjoy Carnegie Mellon from the comfort of your own home, 24/7, on up to three different devices! Th...